Are you dealing with some difficult people? We all do! We tell stories about them with our friends, we exaggerate their short comings or faults, maybe even turn the stories into a recurring comedy routine that friends look forward to! And all the while, we are focusing on behaviors that we DON'T want to experience. Worse yet, we come to expect the same behavior every time we encounter these difficult people. And guess what? We always find what we're looking for. There's always something we can complain about.
But who wants to spend their time complaining? Or feeling frustrated? Or spending time living in that state of aggravation?
Wouldn't you rather turn that situation around? While you may not be able to change someone else's behavior, and you may not be able to avoid working with them, you certainly can change how you think about them, and improve the situation.
Yep. It might be hard to do, but I have faith in you!
My mother always used to say that everyone has at least ONE redeeming quality...sometimes you have to search to find it, but its there.
That bit of wisdom set me on a path of always looking for the best in people. "What do I admire about this person?" has become the underlying question I ask myself about other people. It is a habit.
Once you incorporate that habit into your routine, here's a magic tip that helps you build trust and work with someone who may seem difficult to you: Reflect it back to them. Let them know you appreciate that quality, skill, or talent. BE SINCERE. I'm not talking about empty flattery. Find something you truly admire. Your words let them know that they are valued in someway...and when they feel valued and heard, they are less likely to be disruptive or negative or difficult in a group setting.
Here's the next layer of magic: Be the person who edifies people, not the person who complains about people. Let your appreciation shine a light for people to see what you admire in others. Appreciation puts us in the mindset for collaboration, productivity, and relationship building. How would you like to be perceived - as the one who is always complaining about others - or the one who always has a kind, productive thing to say?